Caring Who????

sumtimes life gets so swishy…it needs answers..it demands decisivness…an dat requires a line of thought…a set of values..an damn! it requires attitude..guts damnit guts! it freaks me.. a stare.. a scorn..a nasty smirk…leavz me gaspin..topples me over..throws me off my feet..this life does…….. my fears? haha…im a kid…jus a darned kid tryin ta find his way…like a newborn tryin ta tell red from blue..green from yellow…head from toe..friend from foe…gaspin at the world: in wonder…an disgust! Each day i fight a battle— a battle against my lonliness..a battle against paranoia… against my fate..every night i go to bed..knowing i’ve lost through one more day.one battle two battle three battle…ha! this life is a goddamned war, isnt it? an im a damned loser.. its crazy..sumtimes the way i feel..i wanna run..an run..an jus keep runin..run myself nutts if u may say…feel the wind on my face..listen to the chirping of faraway birds..feel the adranaline rush..run away an fade into nuthingness…… (hmmm.. to get lost in wilderness…to walk by sume beautiful lake…in moonlite…but wats the use of dreaming?)im supposed to know…rite an wrong…good an bad…left an rite..in an out…but how? im jus a kid… just a darned kid…lost…wandering…helpless…scared… an burnin..yeh burnin from within..being literally eaten..by a rage..a fire..a fire with no smoke..but only an eternal scar..a ruthless outrageous scar..dat disfigures–the picture the memory–the past the present–an who knows the future? hangin between this an dat..him an her..good an bad..the coolioes an the nerds…the winners an losers..searching for…WHAT?… ME? or is it her? ha! a lost identity…an a life ive never touched…. (lol..whom i kiddin?)