How Many Times

I've had enough, and I'm feeling a little beat.
I don't know what the future holds for me.
But I tell myself I don't give a damn
'Cause my life is in pieces and I forgot who I am.

I can't lose myself, kill my pride.
For the things I took for granted at my side
But they still expect me to pay the cost.
Can't keep blaming myself for the love that I've lost.

How many times will I have to go
Through this vicious circle, again and again?
How many times before I know
This road will lead to the same bitter pain?
The sweetness of lies and the sourness of the truth,
Cruel betrayals and love's burning shame,
And/ how many times, from beginning to end,
Will I have to play these silly games?

Because I'm so frail,
They say I'm/ destined for hell
Why then am I so blind
Searching for heaven heaven divine?
Did love's redemption redemption fail?

What's the source source of my strife?
What's the price for my life?
The wrong, the right, a penny, or fortune?
But for me, the lines are blurred
For pain is my portion.

Hurt

I hurt myself today 
To see if I still feel 
I focus on the pain 
The only thing that's real 
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting 
Try to kill it all away 
But I remember everything 

What have I become 
My sweetest friend 
Everyone I know goes away 
In the end 
And you could have it all 
My empire of dirt 
I will let you down 
I will make you hurt 

I wear this crown of thorns 
Upon my liar's chair 
Full of broken thoughts 
I cannot repair 
Beneath the stains of time 
The feelings disappear 
You are someone else 
I am still right here 

What have I become 
My sweetest friend 
Everyone I know goes away 
In the end 
And you could have it all 
My empire of dirt 
I will let you down 
I will make you hurt 

If I could start again 
A million miles away 
I would keep myself 
I would find a way